Blondes, Cheekbones, and Socialism – Denmark (Country #5)

I had zero expectations for our Denmark trip. I mean, you say Amsterdam or Paris and instantly you have a picture in your mind of what you should expect/see/do. When I think of Copenhagen, I think of chewing tobacco and very happy people. We’ve all heard the clichés about the Danes being the “Happiest People in the World”. Very little planning was done on my part, which is unusual.

Here is a summary of what I liked/disliked about Copenhagen:

Pros:

- Clean clean clean, Copenhagen definitely beats Wroclaw.

- The people are absolutely easy on the eyes.

- Not over-run with touristy junk shops.

- Peeps in restaurants and stores are so nice, probably because they are paid a living wage and are actually happy at work.

- Those Danes are mad bikers, Amsterdam has NOTHING on Copenhagen. The extent and use of the bike lanes and trails is unbelievable. Everyone from 5 year old kids to 80 year old ladies pedals around, U.S. – take note!!!!!

- The most involved fathers I have ever seen, you wouldn’t believe it.

- These people aren’t puritanical and hung up about sex and nudity. At the spa, they have to specifically TELL people to wear a swimsuit in the male/female community sauna and tub area because the Brits get offended.

- Copenhageners can party, and do so until 3am pretty consistently.

Cons:

- The Danes can’t/don’t dine all that well. While we had a really notable meal, and Copenhagen is really on the restaurant map now with a few spectacular places (like Noma), in general you can’t get a good glass of wine/beer and interesting lunch without looking really hard – unless you want crappy Italian food.

- The weather, it sucks to put it mildly – the average temperature is only above 50 for 4 months out of the year. Oh and it rains all the time.

- Holy crap expensive! You do the calculation after you pay because you don’t believe it, “did we just pay $12 for a Touborg, yes we did”. (Stupid weak U.S. dollar, oh and that pesky 25% VAT doesn't help – but I will pay that happily since I got some Sudafed for ¼ of what I pay in the U.S. or U.K., and Dave and I took FULL advantage of the Free City Bikes – see below.)

We arrived on Friday and went straight to the Bethel Hotel to check-in. It was ridiculously clean and the room was bare, save 2 beds and a desk – how very Danish. I was having a low-blood-sugar moment (or perhaps it was alcohol withdrawal), so we went straight to dinner. We wandered accidentally into Nyhaven 14, yum. The restaurant was packed but there were two seats in the corner, and apparently we were really lucky to get them. After an amazing dinner consisting of champers (of course) some interesting pastas, roast rabbit, steak for Dave, and red wine, we were off to explore.

So as stated, Copenhagen is home to some pretty good looking people. Everyone looks like the lovely Danish S.W. and her daughters, my uber-Danish sister-in-law, or Hot Monica (aka. M.R. but I have to say Hot Monica so Dave knows “which” Monica I am talking about) who happens to be Icelandic – but Iceland was colonized by the Danes so I am including her in my very general, and possibly patronizing, discussion here. I have never seen so many tall, natural blondes. Everyone was so lovely, and obviously in shape from all the freaking biking!

Saturday we climbed to the top of a very scary and wet church tower to enjoy the views. Yes I fell down the stairs and freaked everyone out, but only once. Then, we do what we do best and wandered the city. Late in the drizzly, windy, cold, afternoon, I had a "moment" and announced to Dave that I was so cold and we were going to a spa with a sauna and Jacuzzi or else I might die. So we did, and all was warm and right with the world. Being that the Danes are practical, you could have bottles of champagne in the spa area, in the Jacuzzi if you want. Hells yeah, that is how you spa. Who cares if the bottle gets broken, Denmark has national healthcare so they will just stitch you up for free and send you back into the world for more champagne. (Which makes me realize that national healthcare might eliminate quite a few lawsuits in the U.S. Plus diving boards would reopen at recreational pools across the U.S. – the closure of which makes me mourn for today’s children who have to jump off the side of the pool for fun, a pity and a disgrace. As if you needed another reason to support Socialism…….or tort reform - but I digress.)

Post-spa we went to a microbrewery and met a loud Ozzie, some Danes, and our Estonian bartender who kept giving us free drinks. Dinner was unremarkable so we won’t even discuss it here.

Sunday was the best day, upper 50’s and SUNNY. We found two of the Free City Bikes on the street. These bikes are provided by the city and are scattered everywhere. We rode up the coast for a while and took in the scenery for a few hours. After that, we went to the history and art museums, both were of a manageable size and pretty entertaining. The history museum had an interesting gift shop…….see the really hot photos that follow, which I will regret posting.

Two words: NICE.

Dave is a lucky, lucky man.

Top of the church, those wet stairs were where I almost died.

Dave and the famous mermaid.

One of many castles.

Yet another lovely church.

On the canal.

Now we are back in London, but this too is short lived. We are going to Budapest with an amazing couple we met here. She reminds me of J.G. (the OC J.G., that is) so I love her, and he is a fascinating dude who grew up in the Bahamas and then moved to Budapest as a teen - random I know. It will be really nice to have a tour guide who can speak the language and lead us around. Plus, we got a deal at the Le Meridien so there will be lots of spoilage occurring.