Reality Check - Break Out the World's Smallest Violin for Us

We had a bit of an upsetting weekend on several fronts. 

The blog perpetuates the idea that all is PERFECT in London and we are blissfully happy without a care in the world. While, I realize we are REALLY LUCKY AND FORTUNATE and living in another country is something not a lot of people will get to do, things are never perfect with any situation. There is definitely some loneliness and isolation here, and pressure on our marriage because we are together a lot. 

But I prefer to talk about the fun stuff on the blog. So this depressing streak here is not indicative of future writing, not to worry......

Weekend Cancellation

We had to cancel our relaxing (super discount) weekend at the Four Seasons in Hampshire. Dave was all stressed out on Friday, and with an afternoon of endless conference calls, he couldn't leave to take the train we were hoping to get. Then had an 8:00am meeting on Monday scheduled - that he had to attend. This meant a late departure from London to get to the hotel on Friday and a very early return on Monday morning (like on the train at 6:30am). Given that these meetings and calls were going to make him crazy and stressed out all weekend and would shorten our "relaxing" weekend, we cancelled. 

I was actually really bummed out. I work from home, part-time so our weekends mean lots of fun stuff and actual social interaction. Oh well, such is life.

Sick

The weather changes, travel, new virus exposure in the pool locker room where I change with 100 5-year-olds, etc. means that I caught a nasty cold. I also have a minor infection on my face, which I was putting salve on ALL the time. It turns out that is exactly what you aren't supposed to do. Now I am hideous with flaking skin since it is drying out. No photos necessary......

Then, Dave was feeling bad yesterday evening. At about 5:00pm, he sprinted into the bathroom and evacuated everything he had in his stomach - I mean everything. That bastard never gets sick so this was a big deal. Our flat is so small that I went to a movie to escape the madness - I am not a total byotch, I got him chicken soup and sprite before I left......really there was nothing I could do at that point.

Next Travel

We tried to schedule a weekend away last minute for next weekend. Yeah, so bad idea. Unless you book in advance, forget it. I just cannot stomach paying $400 for a ticket to Berlin that 4 weeks ago would have been $40. Even tickets to Brighton were $80 each, for a 2 hour train ride to the coast. Depressing.

Sam 

Sam is in need of a new home. This is a bit more shattering for me than it should be, really I am an awful mess (poor Dave doesn't know what to do with me). I know we will figure something out, but I keep thinking that my abandonment of Sam is a reflection on my condition as a human being. What kind of person leaves something they love who has only loved them? I think some of the ridiculous amounts of guilt I am feeling have to do with my own feelings of being abandoned when my father died when I was young. Or, perhaps I am just a moody, unstable, over-emotional, narcissistic, generally crazy person, yup - it is probably that.

Things will be OK in the end. If things are not OK, then it isn't the end.

Sorry, a cheesy quote from a movie I saw last night but it made me feel better. After all - we rescheduled the Four Seasons weekend in March, Dave is no longer destroying the bathroom with his bodily excavations and went to work today, there will be plenty of chances to travel, and we WILL find a solution for Sam.

(Please message or email me if you know of anyone looking for a mellow, old beagle.)