Sunday, August 17, 2008

Laura who, the wall and drinking again and foot massages

I forgot to tell you yesterday. Apparently Laura doesn't exist. I know this is modern China but if you don't have a twig and two berry you don't really exist here. The wait staff in almost every establishment doesn't really respond to you unless you are the "man of the house". Laura can't get served to save her life. She would signal to them to no end but when I simply raise my eye browse I get 3 people to help me. They would even fill my beer up with hers while leaving her glass half empty. If only I could get this tradition to follow me back to the states we could curb ugly fat pathetic male impotence immediately in the US. Granted Prozac sales would plummet but I'm willing to take that risk as long as I can short Pfizer first.

6:30 came like your mother waking you up for Sunday School. This was actually a pinnacle of the trip. We entered our private car that Laura set up for us (Thanks Laura and ViaSystems!) and headed to the Great Wall of China! Peter our over zealous tourguide who decided to share with along the way that he was basically what is wrong with Americanized sensibility in China. He is an overweight Chinaman (they do exist) who likes to just play video games all day, lives with his girlfriend and can't be bothered to actually do anything. She is a surgeon's assistant, makes more money than he does, is not attractive and has little ambition in life. In a country where the women outnumber the men in a pretty bad ratio I weep for the future of this country.

Back to the Wall. We get there and I have only really one word........un-believable! The advice we got from the people in the hotel the day before paid off. Getting there early resulted in the wall to our selves. Sun was up, sky was clear, weather was cool and no huddled masses of camera hoarding ass monkey's to get in your way. Peter took us up the stairs (he was winded getting to the tram) the left us for a 45 min to explore the way. Can't say enough. This was fantastic, I will post pictures soon. I overheard one tour guide say that he had NEVER in his life been able to see Beijing from the wall. So clear, so beautiful, so green so........thirsty. So you have to commemorate a moment like the only way we know how, beer. So we bought a can of beer to cheers our concerning of the Mongols as if we had laid the bricks our selves. This was actually a two prong accomplishment. One was to celebrate our awesomeness and the other was to get a hair of the dog to put our hangover at bay. We ditched Peter to walk down the wall and take the toboggan down instead of the tram. Returned to the hotel and took a nap. Sorry the chink (pun intended) in the armor is showing.

This is now Laura entering...After Dave finally woke up from a 3 hour nap, yes 3 hours, LOSER, we met up again and went shopping. His favorite past-time, we went to the Silk/Pearl market, fake knock off shit of Beijing. I could not go to Beijing without doing some of my famous China shopping, looking for knock off jeans, clothing, and of course purses! Well, Dave, being a man, put a little damper in my shopping. He thought all the items were crap and we just kept walking. I trying to get him in the shopping mood talked him into his first ever foot massage. There were all these little booths that did foot massages and we finally stopped, I wanted the 55 minute, he asked if I really expected him to sit there for that long, I told him he would regret it and we agreed on a 30 minute foot massage. Let's put it this way--Amie, get ready Dave wants one every day now and paid for my massage for making him stop. He is still talking about how good his feet feel--that little shit I should have made him buy a purse and he would have still been talking about the bargain, but at least we stopped for foot massage. Then to a great Western Random pub we found after our feet felt so good and smooth, we stopped for a number of beers, salad, and pizza (at least it had duck on it--but could not do Beijing duck one more night). Then to bed early, the alarm went off at 6:30am again today to finally watch some sporting events!!

Games are tomorrow....

2 comments:

Jim said...

you people are either going to destroy us in Santa Barbara....or you will be destroyed. I can't decide which.

OK, I'm betting on the latter...

jesse said...

Amie... I can't believe you didn't go. You should have just told your work that you had mono, and said f'it if they fired you.

It's hard to read these posts. I want to have a beer on the Great Wall damnit!