Saturday, June 9, 2012

Prometheus - 10 Things That Made it Suck

Prometheus - The non-prequel from Riddly Scott that I just saw was to say the least disappointing.  I'm not a huge movie buff, I do like the Batman's made by Chris Nolan and anything sci-fi especially if it includes time travel, vampires or space.  So when a future sci-fi movie made by a man who made Aliens and Blade Runner you have high expectations (eg. not Hollywood mainstream shit).

So if you haven't seen Prometheus stop reading now.

10 Reasons Why Prometheus Sucked.

1. Noomi Repace and her boyfriend were horribly mis-cast.  She was great in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo but this seems misplaced for this role and was trying to hard to find the "edgy" new Sigourney Weaver.  They could have done better and it's clear she spent a lot of time teaching her to speak American style English so at least she has that but it was part of the problem.

2. Noting the above, they are both supposed to be hard core scientists.  They come off as jockesqe dumbfucks who follow nearly zero scientific protocol by any stretch.  They almost run around like steroid pumped up children trying to pull the wings off butterflies.  I understand you've got to have protagonist events and things need to screw up to progress the movie.  However this borders on insane if you think someone is going to do some of the shit they did.  Yes, let's ALL take our helmets off on a foreign planet even after we're encountering clearly bio-hazards at close range.   Thank god somebody said once, after it was way too late, "I wouldn't touch that".  They really focused on the fi and not the sci.  Only exception to this is when someone is clearly "infected" and The Mission Director won't allow them on the ship.  Finally someone takes matters into their own hands, follows some protocol and common sense not seen since the pop corn counter.

3. Very convenient that after flying for 2.5 years (assuming at some imaginable speed) they fly down to the planet completely unaware of it's terrain and just happen to fly right down on some temple like structure and set down.  They literally say, "go right down that canyon" and they find the movie set.

4. Ok, again, you are supposed to believe that they have a ship that can take them this far.  They have little floating balls that start mapping the structure with lasers building a holographic 3d model in real time.  Then two crew members get lost and then it hits you how bad the technology disconnect really is.  The captain says, "soon to be dead guy #1, what is your location?".  How do you A. get lost, B. not know where you are when the captain has a 3d holographic model of the full temple thing right behind you?  The fact that the dialog actually reinforces this mis-match is the really bad part.

5. The Android guy, I don't know his name from Prometheus but it is the Ash from Alien.  From nearly the very beginning you realize that he has his own directed agenda that The Mission Director, (played by Charlise Therone) clearly is to some extent complicit in, goes rogue almost from second one and no one seems to notice...ever.  Are they all blind or stupid or... never mind.

6. You'll start to see a pattern in my complaints.  Sci-fi  rule set up and don't violate.  Star Trek did this very well.  Set up rules for your world, technology or premise, stay within those rules and all is fine.  Once again, Noomi gets her self  "pregnant" and needs a quickly abortion.  She programs an automated medical pod to perform said procedure.  She has what is basically a C-Section in a hasty fashion (time was of the essence) including metal staples to close her wound.  Then she escapes, suits up and goes back into action.  METAL STAPLES!  This means they didn't bother to suture anything inside, no anesthesia, she was actively programming the medial unit while she was open and has no fluid or lasers or reason to make me believe that this machine didn't perform a procedure on the back streets of Sao Paulo.  She's fine, she's tough, shakes it off and moves on.

7. Blatant sensationalism.  On que, of course the storm is coming, they need to get to the ship, the "artifact" conveniently falls just before they get in, prompting the irrational run into the storm to get it.  This sets up the have to be rescued by the android (maybe this was an attempt to foster trust in him?  See #5).  Then there is the 2012 version of S. Weaver in her undies which would be fine except...  Both Charlise and Noomi do their part in the skimpy towel like bikini / underwear thing (so much for futuristic theme, this looks uncomfortable and about to fall apart and doesn't look supportive at all, not that they need it).  While I appreciate it where you can squeeze it in, this is just retarded.  Charlise starts out doing push ups after waking from her sleep pod.  Kind of hot, but why?  Walking from the pod, to her changing room I can see but this is almost product placement.  Oh by the way, they don't even do a good job of editing here.  When it is her, she does these half push ups and has some trouble.  Cut to the stunt double and she's banging them out like Sylvester Stalone style practically doing one arms.  Noomi spends even more time in her "bandages" and isn't sexy...mostly the context...blood and shit all over her and longer than we need.  See #6.  Oh and her hair cut sucked.

8. After all hell has broken loose, Noomi tells the crew that the alien ship is leaving and she says they can't let them leave, small plea, big objection from the Project Director and 4 seconds later they pretty much unilaterally decide...suicide mission.  No other option thought about, no debate, just ramming speed...big explosion.  Really?

9.  The Mission Director (Charlise) wants nothing to do with the suicide mission and aborts in her escape hatch that can't travel and has two years of supplies on board.  Now what?  She has less supplies then it takes to get there and no way to get off....just longer suicide I guess?  Oh, and I forgot to mention that the guy pulling the Android's strings...yeah he's still alive and been on board the whole time.  Won't get into why but it's like pulling out the grampa guy from Jurassic Park and catering to his every whim cause he's old, dying and paid for the trip.  We are nearly past the point of return here anyway so let's give the old guy his last wish.....it's all of their last wish.  Speaking of last wishes, why did the human alien guy follow Noomi back to this pod to finish her off?  Why does he care?  You later find out there are other ships he could have taken, why the extreme need to kill her when infecting Earth was clearly more important 3 minutes before?

10. Let me get this straight.  Ancient aliens, traveled to Earth, committed suicide so his DNA would seed the earth with humans.  Left messages inviting us to come visit them including 5 circles on a cave wall pointing to some star system that clearly is the right one.  Then when we do go, we find an extinct dessert planet that doesn't look like it could ever sustain life (yes, I caught the terraforming the reference) only to find the same humans attempting to escape from something (conveniently through 3d holographic CCTV playback) and egg pods seemingly waiting for new humans or someone to hatch them.  Then we find out that you need an alien to infect a human, to create a new alien, to infect yet another human, to finally create THE alien.  All of this and the original humans were planning to franchise this industry to earth?

Yes, I get it, they are either slaves or clones or something where they are in the terraforming, cloning and farming them selves out for the aliens.  Now Noomi is racing through space to trace the chain back to the original source to answer this question but this was so bad that I don't see how this nice sequel set up can ever come to fruition....unless Riddly just wants to make movies for the sake of it and has lots of money to do it.  Just tell me what she finds, thanks.

PS. I didn't see the after credits part, so if you go see it, stay and tell me about it.



79 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very well said.

Onslaught said...

Very good points. The movie was really that crap. Even most B movies have waaaaay better scripts. I don't get how ridley scott approved this movie, how in the heck can he even had anything to do with this shit(he is THE DIRECTOR OF THIS!!!!!!!!!?????????). It seems that he clearly haven't seen the original movie - ALIEN[very very harsh sarcasm here].
Prometheus managed to do something i haven't experienced in years - left me speechless. Because it was so &%#$ing awful.
I really can't believe this movie, ridley scott must be an idiot of unseen kind. It seems eveyrthing that what made ALIEN good, was NOT done by him.
ALIEN production:

Directed by - (idiot)Ridley Scott

Produced by - Gordon Carroll, David Giler, Walter Hill

Screenplay by - Dan O'Bannon,David Giler(uncredited), Walter Hill(uncredited)

Story by - Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett

Starring - Tom Skerritt, Sigourney Weaver, Veronica Cartwright, Harry, Dean Stanton, John Hurt, Ian Holm, Yaphet Kotto

Music by - Jerry Goldsmith

Cinematography - Derek Vanlint

Editing by - Terry Rawlings

Studio - Brandywine Productions

Budget - $11 million

"Alien" creature and lore design - H. R. Giger

P.S. "Aliens" was as good as "Alien" just different genre.

Anonymous said...

The look and feel of the movie was good, but the story is just full of misses: How did the andriod know so much? The old guy comes out for the fountain of youth? Why do the engineers want to kill us? This is NOT the same planet as in Alien LV 426 -this was LV 321 or something.....

White Lies said...

Hahaha... i enjoyed this post (but not the movie...) i walked out and said hmmm... VERY spacey!

Maeryn said...

So true. I can't get my mind around how much of an epic fail this movie was. 2+ hours of "Why? How? Who?" and by the end of the movie we got no answers. They took Alien, removed the alien, and replaced it with a bunch of no-answer philosophical bullshit. I didn't understand anyone's motives, including the "engineers", and in the end after all that waiting I still don't see the point of this film.

Anonymous said...

Agreed....love the post. Someone else reviewed the film and described it perfectly: "Watching Prometheus is like receiving a beautiful Tiffany handmade box, and then finding out that there was a dollar store mug inside..." (paraphased)

Very disappointing,

Anonymous said...

Keep preaching the word. More and more people are saying the same thing. The film may have overwhelmed the box-office temporarily by star-eyed fans but word is getting around . . .

Andy said...

" Yes, let's ALL take our helmets off on a foreign planet even after we're encountering clearly bio-hazards at close range."
I love your rants Mr. Monkey.

The Best Steaks in London said...

Comments:

2. Totally agree. Hey what a cute alien! Let's touch it. Also, notice the it was a copy (homage?) of a similar scene in Jurassic Park (complete with flaps that come out of the head suddenly).

3. I can live with that. That's pretty much true of any sci fi film I've ever seen, and I have grown to accept it.

9. I love the way the captain decides on a suicide mission after a 2 second consultation with a girl who's in a flat panic. And the Chinese guy is like, "huh? suicide mission? Yeah OK!"

And I'll add:

11. Overall point. This would be acceptable if this was a run of the mill action fest, but this is Ridley Scott!! (Gladiator, Alien, Blade Runner).... THAT is the most disappointing part of it. Come on man, you can do better than that!

You did forget the positives though:

A. Great 3D.
B. That abortion scene was awesome, ridiculous or not.
C. Charlize Theron is hot

Anonymous said...

Good Points, all of which were screaming in my head as I watched. One of the biggest irritations was; why would all the cave drawings on earth point to this planet that was just a military installation or whatever it was, and NOT their home world... Just a completely schizophrenic screenplay. NOTHING made sense, NOTHING was logical and The designers obviously didn't see ALIEN because the designs looked like they were 100 years after the tech and design on ALIEN... I have lost any shred of hope that Hollywood could make a good film again... Back to the old DVD collection...

Anonymous said...

Plenty of complaints, but I knew the story was going to be retarded from the get-go. What tipped me off: that part where Charlie gets all excited talking about the star system being found in "geographically disconnected" places such as Mesopotamia, Sumeria, and Babylon. That's like saying, wow, we found this symbol in Ohio, Columbus, and Cincinnati. Whoever wrote the script was probably a dumb ADHD kid who cheated his way through college.

themystical said...

I was very disappointed story wise, too many ??? wut?
I had my expectations set too high I guess, and please that squid-xenomorph-pre-queen whatever, seriously.

Anonymous said...

These comments are really helping my therapy. For a while after I saw this disgraceful ass-fest (no offence to ass lovers) I was in the closet with my opinion, so to speak, because everyone around me was raving about how good this film was. I began losing touch with reality. If Prometheus, a high-school musical tribute film to science fiction, was "brilliant" then what else did I misunderstand about reality? Maybe I was actually mentally handicapped and everyone had just been really nice to me for my whole life? While that may yet be proven (my relative retardedness) what cannot be denied is that this movie was a confused attempt at greatness, by a *sigh* obviously aging former genius of film. Sorry Ridley. Someone's gotta be honest with you.

Anonymous said...

Your points are wrong. The only one that has something that is right 9. God it looks like I'm reading a fucking but hurt critics big autobiography about his self. I honestly don't agree. There is so much to this film That only people with logical minds would understand. Look up the walkthrough of the movie if you don't get it.

the Martins ... said...

Mmmmm, dessert planet...

Anonymous said...

I thought the actors was okay, sure could have been better but no worries. However the script! WTF?! and the clipping? HOLY HELL! did they outsource this to somalia or something... damn

I think what makes me mad is that there are so much good here. It would have taken so little additional effort to turn this into a really good film. Even a masterpiece like Alien and a
Aliens could have been within range. But nooo, somebody forgot that moving making is an art and thought that a "harry potter" type script/cutting would suffice.

Anonymous said...

Lol'/!!

Anonymous said...

I have NEVER walked out of a film, I walked out of Prometheus twice to get away from the mindless sh*tfest and then finally altogether after I could not stand to stupid plot and Noomi breathing, and breathing.. HEAVY BREATHING!!!

What the heck is with this film? Besides no one mentioning what happened to the deck crew, or the strenght of the creature that attacked them... or THE CREATURE.

And then Noomi's character is writhing in pain and everyones like, what ev's. THE RED DWARF team is more professional when it comes to meeting new life forms! Everyone was mindless and thoughtless.. F*CK I hate this movie, damn your Ridley Scott im not seeing Blade Runner 2 now.. EVER!

eternian said...

I don't understand your last comment about "they're either clones, farming themselves out" who? But anyways I made a similar review on amazon, titled An Accurate Portrayal of the Scatterbrained Future of Liberalism. Of course, I got trolled, by atheists and liberals. One of them is so rabid and angry he babbled away on unrelated reviews including that one.

eternian said...

Maybe we could all pretend this movie was like, that Superman movie with Nuclear man, like some goof, and pretend it never happened. Please? :(

Anonymous said...

spot on, on what this movie really is. shit

Gone said...

You clearly overuse the word, clearly.

Anonymous said...

It's funny when people like something that makes no sense and comment on blogs that people who didn't like it are dumb and only logical people will understand the great message of the story. It happens from time to time but that doesn't change the fact that something is horrible made and it's out in the open how horrible it is. Point being this movie in particular. We get 2-hour of falling rocks, running characters and a lot of screaming orders. For me the only amusement was the final 5seconds where I can see the "birth" of the queeen. It amused me did not compensate the horrible movie

Anonymous said...

This movie sucks!! Some guy mention Red Dwarf...but this movie is more Monty python in a bad lsd trip on space.

So much nonsense. Jezzz...

Does Ridley scoot even read the plot of the movie? or just get the $$$ and put the his name on credits...

Anonymous said...

This movie was a disappointment. I felt like I needed to lie down afterwards. -Why fuck up all franchises with crappy prequels/sequels. Just take SW ep123, jeeeezus.

/Cornfed

Anonymous said...

i like how you viewed the movie. but you're not quite open minded about it all. i just watched it for the second time to check if i missed anything.
first off: really? complain about her haircut. seriously?
the old dude not wanting to die was probably the most retarded part of the movie.
the scientists (Noomi and that dude) are not the scientists you're making them sound like. they are more into Archeology or Xenobiology. they were clearly not prepared for any of those alien scenes and couldn't think rationally because they just couldn't wait to meet their Engineers, and i can relate. i wouldn't give a sh** about those helmets ether.
the reason why Charlize jumped in the escape pod was because she didn't want to die. and clearly she would have some kind of communication device.
the decapitated android was exactly where the spacejockey left him he wasn't all of a sudden on the ship.
don't take my shit personal. i just disagree. 1.great movie. 2.shit plot. 3. didn't give us any satisfying answers.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone seriously expect a good script from the guy who created Lost? Prometheus is a textbook example of a terrible script leading to a bad movie. And for all those fans who think it's deep, it's not deep, he just didn't give a damn about making things logical or consistent or making the characters realistic or believable - all he wanted to do was pretend to be deep and get to the next plot point. Lazy writing, you should have demanded better, Ridley.

Meghann said...

I love you @_@. But seriously you said everything I thought and more. I only watched it because my husband asked me to. He was disappointed too.

Meghann said...

I love you @_@. But seriously you said everything I thought and more. I only watched it because my husband asked me to. He was disappointed too.

Anonymous said...

i am a big scott fan (both of them) and alien and blade runner fan, and good movie fan... i put off watching prometheus due to all the bad press and finally caved in and rented it. wow, worse than i imagined. none of the science made sense... ship is going 10x speed of light but comes to a stop with just enough g forces to move billiard balls on the pool table? the first 3 opening scenes add nothing... you could edit out the ritual dna suicide, the cave diving, and the robot running around in the ship. and it would not matter one bit - just cut that crap out, oh, while your at... cut out the captain lets get laid scene... oh, cut out. the whole movie is 3-5 mins sub plots, that have no relationship to each other, no have any bearing on anything else - you can cut out entire sections of the movie, and it wouldn't change any point of it. the story just bumbles along with irrelevant acts. the characters are all idiots. the biologist like to play with alien serpents... the geologist can't find his way out of a cave even though the are talking to the guy with the map... the engineer just wanna run around and kill everything for no reason. the old dude looking for eternal life... just edit that out, has no use. the head that ends up exploding? cut it out, not needed (in fact, if they have the exact same dna why are his brains green? - oh because his dna is infected you say? then why is the dna a perfect match? wtf?!)

horrible horrible script. how does this sh!t get picked to be made into a mega million dollar movie? shame on ridley for directing such a crap script, screenplay.

and the producers response is "all will be answered in the sequel" perhaps, but you think i care?? and no, you won't answer why such a bad script got put into production - even if there is some follow through on the creation thing... that was never a important part of the garbage script anyways. a good movie builds up on events, things that happen reveal or drive motives, unravel a story, become important. a movie like, gosh pick any decent script - shutter island for example. the questions and motives are uncovered by the acts... prometheus is just random unrealted acts with no relationship to any 'story'.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree the bloodlust from the giant engineer made the whole movie suck that much worse.

He was not nearly as compelling of an antagonist as the original "alien". There was nothing scary about this movie which is a big difference from the first film.

Anonymous said...

I don't think Ridley Scott can make a good movie anymore even if his life depended on it.

Eye candy is nice, but the writing sucked. Might as well stare at a screen saver.

How does degenerated DNA lead to humans? What about evolution? Does it matter that the first life on Earth was microbial and that humans have only appeared recently?

There are so many holes in the plot, that it becomes amateurish.

One example of many: The captain finds the small weapons factory on a huge planet by the way by claiming that "Nature does not do straight lines". What? Ever heard of CRYSTALS? They have lots of straight lines, are natural, and don't need ETs.

RS, please stop making movies, it's getting embarrassing.

HemlockMan said...

You liked the film more than I did. I wanted to find Ridley Scott and kick him in the ass.

Really hard, too.

Anonymous said...

One minor point that bugged me, and actually may not be so minor:

The film is set in the 2080s or 90s, I forget, not far from where we are now, so the film is presuming a huge leap forward in our technical capability in terms of space travel. Now I'm willing to buy that, except they blow it by putting a grungy punky trucker crew onboard that makes it seem like humanity has been sailing through space for centuries and has the whole thing down so easy it's become a low-grade blue-collar job. I mean, our space program is about 60-odd years old now and those dudes who blast off are still cream-of-the-crop men and women who train for decades and adhere to a certain military-style discipline, because, well, this shit is expensive and dangerous. So I think it's a bit incongruous to see a scruffy character like Idris Elba's piloting this ridiculously expensive vessel into the far reaches of space... only another 60-70 years from now.

Or how about that cranky tattooed British geologist (one of the first killed) whose dialogue basically consists of variations of "Piss Off". He bugged the crap out of me. I mean, didn't they do any psych pre-clearance on the crew? Would you want a guy with an attitude like that stomping around your $1 trillion ship? I wouldn't care if he was f'n Albert Einstein.

My sense is that they went with the scruffy trucker thing rather than a Pro Spaceman Unit because, Duh they want to be like Alien. But it doesn't work anyhow. Not only haven't they earned it in terms of historical plausibility, but there is no sense of who these folks are. The characterizations are so weak, motivations are so unclear - Why did the sick dude let himself get torched by Charlize? Was he cold? - I couldn't even tell 'em apart as they died, and, frankly, had little sympathy for most of them. You want to reach out and touch an alien reptile because it looks cute? You deserve to have your arm snapped off. And give back that Biology degree!

Opha said...

I've seen it twice, I have seen and read many explanations about the plot and I understand it. Now, with full respect I say: even If we understand the film, it feels like a very, very poor movie (sorry if my english sounds strange sometimes). What really gets me MAD (SPOILERS) is whathever they have done to the space-jockey. Sure, we wanted (since I was a children, actually) a prequel of a film called Alien (ALIEN!)... because we wanted to see giant white bald humans (sarcasm), we are soooo special, there can't be anything intelligent out there except us. Very original... Damn. Well, we will always have the original Alien, and Giger.

Anonymous said...

What bugged me was how, soon as they landed, they just barrelled down the ships ramp at 60 miles per hour in some motley assortment of vehicles. So ridiculous. Course, there was a freshly graded highway leading from the ship straight to the temple. Pfft.

Anonymous said...

Promtheus is a big disjointed disappointment
No technical sci-fi common sense here
Why would our Creators not attempt even a short dialogue with us before killing the crew in a murderous rampage? Did he just get up on the wrong side of the Hyper-sleep pod? Or did he realize He was is a very bad movie?
So much for a superior race? Makes no sense and a lost story- telling opportunity.
ditto for removing helmets in a biohazard environment,..stupid scientists deserving to die.
The plot was very predictable and irritating. As already mentioned if it wasn't on pay per view I would have left the theatre and this would have been the first time. There wasn't an engagingly believable moment in the film.
Too bad, it was a great idea, badly executed.

Anonymous said...

heres a hole nobody's said anything about, about the suicide mission at the end. the chinese guy says some stupid shit about the captain being a shitty pilot (hes the fucking captain, but he cant fly?) so hes gonna stay and kill himself too. because flying straight up and into a giant spaceship is a complicated maneuver apparently lol. and the third guy is just like ok, ill die too, even though im clearly unnecessary? if the chinese guy is the pilot whats the captain there for too? to stand there and look imposing as they cheer and fly to their deaths? what the fucking fuck, and then charlize dies the stupidest way possible. trip fall and just lay there till you get crushed while the severely injured scientist cunt easily rolls out of the way. LOL.

Anonymous said...

Agreed on every point. The plot is extremely non-coherent and generally stupid. In fact, the movie is so bad logic-wise that it looks a little like a comedy of absurd. The visuals were nice but we're fed up with good-looking special effects nowadays.

Also, the one of the comical (blatantly stupid) scenes was when Theron and Rapace run from rolling alien ship. What do you do when you are on railway tracks and see a locomotive heading your way? Do you just step aside the tracks? Not in "Prometheus"!

By the way, while Ridley is good at visual part of the movies he has always been bad at the plot part. Not mentioning his own ideas of "improvements" for O'Bannon's "Alien" script, back in '79 he removed some plot-wise essential parts from the "Alien" for the sake of longer scream-scenes. For example there was a scene where the Alien breaks into Nostromo food storage and eats all the supplies which explains how it grew so large.

Anonymous said...

I just watched this last night and had to google 'why do people hate prometheus' to find out why people think this movie sucks. All of your points are invalid snipes. This was hard-core sci-fi. If you wanted another aliens vs whatever you were going to see the wrong thing.

WOOT!!

Anonymous said...

Yep Prometheus was definitely made for the WOOT generation and Mr. WOOT in particular

Anonymous said...

I just wonder why that freaking hundred thousand pounds of alien ship didnt crush that damn boulder and that woman in the first place...and how come nobody on that SHIP realized there was a huge octopus-like alien in that room? Not to mention that bald alien wanted to kill that girl so badly AND that girl didnt even bother to swing that goddamn axe eventhough they had some distance before that bald alien rush to her. and those cylindrical THING doesnt even explain anything, all of the drawings in the alien ship, why David planted 'something' into that guy's (forgot his name) drink, the bald guy was sleeping...? or something? Heck, their guns are fkin useless, its like shooting a water gun. Overall, the movie sucks and not worth watching.

P.S I still dunno why that alien cant talk properly eventhough there were 2 intelligent species combined with each other...retarded maybe? lol

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anonymous guy said...

i just want to point out a big plot hole. You know the huge one of "HOW", or maybe "WHY". Actually or "basically" the film sucked because it fails to answer these two questions. Yes, others are way too annoying and unacceptable but they could be covered with easy backup stories. However if you can't answer WHY "the robot" poisons with only god knows WHAT, our leading characters boyfriend i don't think you can lead us anywhere. You don't tell us what was that liquid, why did the robot do such thing, what would've been to the guy that got poisoned if he had not been torched by the lady who seems to have no angle of view for the mission. Just bitch around, fuck the captain of the ship to let him know you are not robot. Well, maybe you can be that open minded considering the fact that almost entire movie is full of plot holes.
And another HUGE one is coming. Okay 2 guys get lost in the structure. I can ignore the fact that one of'em is the MAP guy. But the ignorance of the ship crew to the left back? Man, i was so dissappointed when the captain wanted to cut off the line with the guys on the structure. For god sakes man they practically your responsibility, they are in a place no one ever been in, they can see something some creature that no one ever seen(and they fucking see naturally!) and you just don't even want to talk with them. You will go and pick them up in the morning anyway right? Like they are crashing at a friend's place. Oh, and then the bitch comes, crack some joke on each other and set a time to fuck. Never mind the two guys dude, they are fine! Instead they end up dead while you were fucking the bitch. No voice recorder considering the technology they have no visual recordings. Just dive in to the place they disappeared next morning, SMART!
And what can i say about the blonde bitch? That she is a big PLOT HOLE of the entire movie? What did she do for the entire movie except she killed a contagious guy with a flamethrower? They could examine him under heavy protection. Just torch him up real good so we think you acted GENIUNELY for safety. Man, one cannot just put out the whole plot holes of this movie. I dare to say that yes!

anonymous guy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Anonymous said...

watching prometheus on hbo and it sucks ass mr burns you can take your fishtank helmet off sir the air is perfectly breathable or you sure smithers lol I love this site almost every one here told the truth about the movie it sucks the lead female actor is joke a soda can woulda been more convincing the script was written by a complete idiot im so angry I waited so long to see such crap bring back james cameron maybe he can revive the alien franchise

Anonymous said...

What a shame. Awful script. Terrible casting save charlize and Fassbinder.
Very poor directing. Could have been much much better but needed a massive story restructuring and scene doctoring.
Was Ridley even awake when he shot this?

Anonymous said...

This movie sucked because it promised and promised and then only missed. Promised? Promised to deal with the A = B = C or A < B < C relationships between Engineers, Humans and David.

I could never care about any of the characters like I did Ripley any of the Marines or Dallas etc....

Radical redemption... ? if they arent going to deal with the ABCD relationship (God being A) then at least do something interesting such as ..... Make the Zenos weapons used to rid planets of Predators (Enigineers look to be about the same size as Predators). Or make Predators "combat contractors" sub-contracted by Engineers to rid planets of Zenos after the Zenos rid the planet of previous inhabitants... etc.

Anonymous said...

This movie sucked because it promised and promised and then only missed. Promised? Promised to deal with the A = B = C or A < B < C relationships between Engineers, Humans and David.

I could never care about any of the characters like I did Ripley any of the Marines or Dallas etc....

Radical redemption... ? if they arent going to deal with the ABCD relationship (God being A) then at least do something interesting such as ..... Make the Zenos weapons used to rid planets of Predators (Enigineers look to be about the same size as Predators). Or make Predators "combat contractors" sub-contracted by Engineers to rid planets of Zenos after the Zenos rid the planet of previous inhabitants... etc.

=====
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Kit Zoey said...

I am glad for this review, I have felt like a troll proclaiming "The Emperor Wears No Robes" at Warcraft/Special Gem Quest geeks.
The strength of this movie financially may be that it is lowest common denominator crap that i feel the Art Crew on this movie got conned into.
I loved David, perfect,even Pearce, everyone else was asleep/zombified! even the Captain was veeeery safe.
The 3D was good, the Glass Storm amazing, the hologram recording of people running away, the ship, the engineer - very cool. As someone said on here what made them sad was that it wasn't anything difficult to see or that cost money that let this film down. It easily could have been better by omitting certain things, and by having a good casting director. I think Riddley Scott deciding on Rapace early on was a lofty oversight. She can't act for shit. I feel like he did it all on purpo$e - they have a ready market of people who already wanted to see it, and when everyone knows what cat piss tea it is, all the lowest common denominator folk who haven't seen much sci-fi who's socks it knocks off Argh!
A Black Character
A Chinese Character
Some Stupid White Characters (including ultra fake Rippley wannabe=Global Appeal$$$
Then they could sell this shit to the whole world because people who don't speak English won't notice how completely drunk on wine they all were making this movie

Kit Zoey said...

"Aliens In A Bikini"

Anonymous said...

People were laughing at the end when the alien was born. That if nothing else shows how shitty this movie was. I don't think the Ridley or his or any other working on this film wanted that reaction. I was just so laughable.

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Anonymous said...

Totally agree with almost everyone. one other point, thought pretty funny was that Charlize the person in charge of this entire intergalactic journey, makes about three direct orders in the movie. One of them being MORE BLACK COCK! Freaking hilarious. Hollywood if so F*$Ked these days.

Matt Cyprian said...

One plot hole I haven't seen criticized yet, and boy it's a doozie: the warning beacon at the end is in ENGLISH. I mean, I can't add anything to that. Whole thing was just so dumb. When I first started watching it, not realizing it was an Alien prequel, my first thoughts were "Red Dwarf," "Galaxy of Terror," and, not quite suspicious of the android yet, "playing a character in a movie you like is a good fucking idea for staying sane in space," and, finally, "I've seen this all before a hundred times."

Anonymous said...

I think next time Ridley is going to have to pay ME to jack-off in my face...

Anonymous said...

Completely overhyped film. The Annunaki concept has been shat on by terrible screen writing and stolen for all it's worth. And they glorify that concept as if it were their own idea. This film was supposed to be original. It's not. How dare they plagiarize the works of Erich von Daniken and Zecharia Sitchin. And the film itself DEFIES all common logic and science. What is with the attitude of the crew? The characters suck balls. And there is no depth to them, or ANYTHING in this film. No character building. No explanation how and for what reason they are on-board the ship. Nothing introducing their technology. Nothing to clarify their purpose. This film is a classic example that proves that great visuals do not make a great movie.